Just feel like writing

This is not a post about my Trich, just more of a thought process being typed. It has now been a month since surgery. I'm progressing, started physical therapy, should be putting some weight on my left leg next week. Dealing with my absence management company is a headache and a half. I understand they need to know that this was a necessary procedure, that they want proof I need to be off work until January, but do I need to send paperwork every month? They have the post-Op notes detailing how extensive my surgery was, so they should know recovery lasts longer than 1 or 2 months. Right now I have a tentative return to work of 1/23/13. Also, having to worry about our health insurance paying for the surgery. I've been CC'd on requests to the hospital for information on why I had surgery. Ugh, I can't afford this. I need to rest and recover. This is not helping. Well, I guess this is going to be about my Trich since it's made me pull my eyebrows and lashes more. I can't handle this stress, well that's not exactly true. I do have a great husband who keeps things in perspective and takes wonderful care of me.
On a happier note, I got to eat thanksgiving dinner with my parents. I feel bad that I only saw my in-laws for a little bit. The pain was unbearable by the time I got there. My poor mother-in-law is worried we aren't coming to see them at Christmas, which we will be.
Ok, enough writing for today.

the disability blues

I've been off work since the end of August, it's now the end of November. The lack of working is playing with my brain in the worst way. I'm trying to stay sharp, doing puzzles, playing games, reading books, and writing. I can't say that what I write is all that scholarly, but I think it helps.

Since this blog is about my Trich, I will focus on that. My lower eyelashes are completely grown. I've tried mascara but it makes my eyes itch, and I want to pull. My top eyelid is another story, and much to my chagrin I have been pulling a lot. There are these annoying eyelashes, if I can describe them. They are really small, thick and itch like CRAZY! When I try to stop pulling, I usually end up focusing on the outside corners of my eyes, so that way if I pull, I pull the ones that aren't seen. I have also slid back into digging out small eyebrows that are just showing. I end up digging small holes in my face, resulting in scabs. Sometimes, I don't get the hair and have to wait for my skin to heal to get the hair out. A therapist on Facebook said, "as long as you are trying, you are in recovery." I like to think that I am trying, so I'm recovering. I know it's not going to be easy, but I just wish it wasn't so hard.

Not trich free, but doing better

I doubt, unless I find a good behavioral psychologist, that I will ever be completely trich free. Having said that, I will finish the title's thought, it has been over a week since I had arthroscopic surgery to correct my hip issues and so sitting, walking and triching are difficult to do still. I have to hop behind my walker since I cannot put any weight on my left leg for 4-6 weeks, hooray. With some shame, I asked my husband to bring my triching mirror, lamp and tweezers into the bedroom. I have sat on the side of my bed in the most comfortable position possible and pulled. I mostly kept to the straggling eyebrows that grow in the oddest of places. I have also pulled some eyelashes from the outside corners of my eyes, but I am trying not to.
I am much more aware of exactly how much stress affects my trich. I had almost no eyelashes, and now many are growing. I don't have scabs above my eyebrows from digging out eyebrows. It will always be a work in progress. I'm also on pain medication, so I'm not exactly lucid all day. Napping while the motion machine works my joint helps. I hope to be able to wear mascara again, to feel Ok no matter how many eyelashes or eyebrows I have.
Enough "confessions" for the night. Thanks for reading.